Do you know why I love our globalized world so much? Because it shows me the diversity, courage and boldness of people that I’d never come across otherwise and who inspire me to be as much me as I can be. Ruthie Lindsey is one of them. Her story is remarkable and has touched me on numerous accounts in very different phases of my life, even though I’ve never spoken to her and in all likelihood, she doesn’t even know I even exist.
Ruthie works as a speaker and stylist in Nashville, Tennessee. Shortly before graduating from high school, she had a car accident that left her on life support with three broken ribs, punctured lungs, a ruptured spleen and two broken vertebrae in her neck. Doctors told her she had a five percent chance to live and a one percent chance to walk again. After a month in hospital however, she was healthy again and walked out with only a neck brace.
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After graduating and meeting and getting married to her first boyfriend, an incredible pain shot through her body one day – and didn’t go away. Doctors couldn’t find the cause, countless therapies didn’t do anything, and so she took heavy narcotics and started to become isolated from her community, spending more and more time in bed.
In the middle of getting the much-needed surgery that would potentially keep her from becoming paralysed, her Dad had an accident. He fell down a flight of stairs and passed away from brain damage. During the surgery that removed a wire from her brain stem which was causing the pain, Ruthie suffered major nerve damage. She also contracted a bacterial infection and suffered from panic attacks, nervous breakdowns and insomnia.
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So just when she thought things couldn’t get worse, they did. But when she hit rock bottom, she also hit a turning point. A slow one, but a turning point nonetheless. She got off medication, a process which her marriage didn’t survive; she found herself single for the first time in a decade. As a way to make life more welcoming, she started rearranging her house to make it feel more like a warm hug when she entered. Ruthie started an Instagram account and her design started to pop up on several interior blogs after a friend had photographed it. Taylor Swift even shot the artwork of “Red” at her place, it was that stunning. But then messages poured in where people said they were jealous of her perfect life while Ruthie, on some days, was still unable to get out of bed because of her pain.
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That’s when she started sharing her story online. That’s when she realised that maybe the rawness of it would inspire people so much more than a beautifully arranged flat. The pain isn’t gone now and it’ll probably always be a part of Ruthie’s life but she resolved to no longer let it ruin everything and distract her from the things she loves: hosting dinner parties, traveling, giving workshops and speaking at events and sharing the joy that life gives her. To me, it seems like Ruthie lives life more intensely than I do; she’s more grateful, more humble and more resilient. I know this all comes at a price, and Ruthie herself says she wouldn’t wish this rollercoaster ride on anyone, the pain in her body, the loss of her Dad and the struggle of having to say “No” a lot when her body just doesn’t have enough energy to take on another project.
But the journey is one that she’s still on, and it’s teaching her to take care of herself well, because only then can you take care of others, supporting them and lifting them up when they need it. On Instagram, a platform that is often associated with sugarcoating life with an overdose of perfect legs, peonies and avocado toasts, she doesn’t beat around the bush about how much everything sucks sometimes – and how you and you alone can (and maybe should) change your mindset to become a beaming example of hope, love and beauty. She also makes me want to visit Nashville, like, right now – but I’ll leave that for another time.