first dates The Bro + the BartenderI am so excited to share this first date story with you guys today because it comes from my BFF! Abra and I went to high school together, so she’s seen me through my most embarrassing phases (remember when I wore two belts for a year?) and yet she’s still around. Well my girl went on a first date that stunk and she’s ready to dish with all of you. Take it away Abra!

So I signed up for Plenty of Fish with the intent of doing it for only a month. At the time there wasn’t an app for it and anyone could message you so it was kind of a free-for-all. I would get 30+ messages everyday that would just be “hey” or “what’s up beautiful” like no substance at all. I’d only respond to those that had something witty to say.

I got a message from this dude, let’s just call him Chad for the sake of the story, and he wasn’t too terrible so I was like why not! I chose the spot to meet and it was a low key bar area in Columbus, OH. While I was waiting for him to get there I was chatting and made friends with the female bartender. Then Chad arrives in basketball shorts + socks with sandals and much sucks right off the bat. Note to any of the male readers here, don’t wear this on a date. Or like as a good rule of thumb, in public in general, unless you are in fact coming from playing basketball. 

The conversation was just bad (he would only talk about sports even though he didn’t play them) and I knew almost immediately from his lack of effort that he was only looking for a hookup situation. Eventually, we called it a night and the female bartender from earlier comes to our table like, “Man! I rode my bike today and it’s storming so bad outside now.” And I’m like, “Oh, where you live girl?” And she’s like, “German Village!” And I’m like, “Me too! I’ll give you a ride!”

Chad, overhearing the entire exchange, gets pissed, and decides to rudely ask me if I was a lesbian since I was “much more interested in the female bartender than going home with him.” After laughing at the ridiculous accusation, I just went about talking to the bartender as if Chad wasn’t there at all. He left and we never spoke again. I’m 0% mad about this, obviously.

While it wasn’t a match with Chaddy boy, I did end up with a new friend. And for all those inquiring, my plenty of fish account was deleted immediately after this date.


OMG! Thanks for sharing with us Abra, what a nightmare of a date! If you have a fun date story, the good, the bad, the downright regrettable, and want to share, shoot me an email at with the subject ‘Dates’ to be featured!


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